Why do we value peace so much and what understanding do we have about it? For many, peace means alignment with personal thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. However, that peace is fickle and fleeting. That happiness is self-oriented because its foundation is shaky, which means, it rests on the assumption that things happen the way “I” want.
What has been your experience so far? Do things happen your way? And moreover, when things happen your way do you feel happy? If you do a deep introspection, you’ll realize that mostly you’re peaceful when things don’t happen your way. Yes, in the moment, there’s emotional upset and turbulence, but later, as the light of acceptance fills the being, you realize that whatever happened, happened for the best. Isn’t it?
If you hold the belief that you will be happy only when things happen the way you want, you are married to misery. You have an unhealthy relationship with yourself as you’re binding yourself to an illusory image. So to experience deep peace – a peace that does not rely on external circumstances, you have to go inwards and see what you’re holding onto.
When I was young, I wanted to be a civil servant. My happiness was based on clearing the civil services exam. At the time, I did not even think where that idea came from. Was it mine or was it imported into my memory. The acquisition of power, prestige, money, and adulation, was an imported idea.
It came from fear! Fear that I was weak and unworthy until I attain a socially acceptable position in the society. Fear that I must build a formidable reputation (an image) to be respected and feared by others. Fear that I will be isolated and destitute, if I don’t compete and crush others to move ahead. Oh, it was so painful!
Such thoughts are rooted in fear and create suffering in daily living. Because I saw how civil servants struggled with power and prestige. They couldn’t handle the power and it consumed them more than they consumed it. All their grand ideas about “doing good” for the society were crushed by local politicians who had the final say. I saw them needing constant validation to keep up their self esteem. I’m not saying that all are like that but majority in that profession struggled with interpersonal issues and poor mental health.
The idea that I should make myself so solid and strong that nothing affects “me” needs examination. The solid breaks faster than the flexible. Water has more power than stone for it can adapt its movement to facilitate flow. The stone is stuck wherever it is. The blade of grass is more powerful than a tree because it bends with the current of the wind. Do you really want to be solid? Try it and see what happens. Being solid is resisting life. When you fortify yourself, you are denying life. Living with the fear not ever being hurt or heartbroken is denying the possibility of experiencing true love. You are fighting against your own nature. You can build big muscles but you will live carrying your weight around. Who will protect you from yourself?
Being flexible and adaptable in the mind is the true solidness and real resilience! Being open to life without making an effort to modify its flow is living in love. Opening your heart to all possibilities is acceptance of divinity within. Moving with acceptance of whatever life is presenting in the moment (disregarding whether it’s aligned with your present beliefs or not) is true peace and happiness.
With love,
Jagjot
