No Amount of Money is Worth Sacrificing Your Inner Peace

Choosing whatever brings relief is a direct pointer back to the Self

How can we accept what is without analyzing or judging?

“If you are acting like a sheep do not blame the shepherd. You cannot herd lions. Wake up and roar. And you are free.” – Papaji

As I am writing this, I am sitting near a window. Through it, I can see the building across the street. High up, I can see a woman working on the rooftop, where there appears to be a terrace. She is apparently mopping and cleaning the floor of the terrace. It is 41 degrees Celsius outside. I am observing this from inside my air-conditioned apartment, and I am working on a laptop. My dear friend and collaborator is visible on the Zoom screen, and he is writing, too. We are both silent. We seem to both be in the flow.

I notice my thinking mind jumping to conclusions about the scene in front of my eyes. The thoughts make notions about how fortunate I am in comparison to the woman working outside in this heat with no shade (except what is provided by a shawl wrapped around her face and head, to shield her from direct sun). I notice that my mind assumes she is in discomfort. This, I notice, leads to a sense of guilt arising. Why, my mind asks, do I get to be indoors and she must work in the heat? There is a feeling of what I could call injustice or unfairness. My mind cooks up stories like this, but underneath it, I notice a calmness that asks: Who is saying what is fair, just, or unfair? The answer deep inside of me is that these are just concepts. Source is beyond concepts borne of imagination, and that brings me peace.

Before what I could call spiritual awakening happened, I would believe such stories that the mind cooked up about myself and about others. Now, I may find myself suspending thoughts about things being a certain way, and just go with the flow. I notice more thoughts come to mind that go against what I was told, what I was taught, and what seems to be more and more forcefully presented in social interactions telling me how things supposedly are in the world, especially as I age. It can feel intense at times, at age 44.

For me, it is not possible to go against the grain of my nature anymore. I have learned many lessons by acting like a sheep, but there comes a time when the lioness may wake up inside us. This can’t be forced or thought about too hard; it just happens. Then, life becomes a daily act of living peacefully. This may sound impossibly vague, but it just means making moment-by-moment choices that resonate within. They may go against what we are “supposed” to do. And that’s okay. Experience will show us how to respond gracefully to others who may not understand where we are coming from. Compassion is key, and a strong lion has a tender Heart.

Letting go of how I imagined people, places, and things “should” be has brought me a lot of peace. However, people who knew me before this switch occurred were unsettled by my reduced dramatic reactions to most situations (I do still react sometimes due to conditioning that I fully see and accept).

Part of living from one’s innermost center is not allowing people’s responses to throw us into a loop of thoughts that don’t elevate us or anyone else.

When the thinking mind starts creating stories, all that generative potential could be used in different ways. It’s up to each person to watch the mind, watch what messages are being let into our minds, and respond from our own inner Self.

Two weeks after seeing the woman across the street on the rooftop, I had what I would call a breakthrough. The owner of my rented room, I noticed, had slowly started intruding more frequently into my space by entering my room without knocking, locking me out of the flat “accidentally” in order to force interaction, and walking around without clothes on in an attempt to receive attention. Finally, the owner began making unsolicited comments criticizing Being Peaceful. Instead of reacting to any of these actions or words, I saw the pain inside this person. I saw how lonely they felt, and how their life choices had conformed to their parents’ wills at the cost of creative work aligned with their own nature. I saw how badly they wanted peace, and how they were willing to invade my peace to try to force connection. Which never works, I have seen.

Instead of creating drama, I did what felt required for me in that moment: I packed my bags and quietly left, expressing gratitude and offering the security deposit in the spirit of goodwill. No amount of money is worth sacrificing our peace.