Quieting The Mind Is Not A Skill But Happens Through Deep Understanding of Life

Who is trying to quiet the mind? The belief that we can quiet our mind through specific practices is part of the mind’s thought system itself.

Out of curiosity, I Googled the phrase, “How to quiet the monkey mind?” From what I gather, this is a popular search term. Almost everyone is troubled by the incessant thinking mind that sometimes acts as the inner critic, and other times projects a future fear of losing the job, status, money, loved ones, relationships, etc. We are all busy finding solutions to block thoughts because we see this “negative thinking” as the root of our discontentment.

When you search the above-mentioned phrase, you are served with run-of-the-mill content by the search God Google. They mention an endless number of ways to stop thinking or divert the mind elsewhere: Take up a hobby, do a chore, go out and walk in nature, talk to a friend, work out, do meditation, practice affirmations, practice Yoga, and so on. While all of the above offer potential benefits, they do not address the root of our affliction. This kind of content gets a lot of eyes because it promises relief from suffering, directly or indirectly.

The general perception is that the mind is something external to ourselves and can be controlled and molded into the way we want. The belief that we can quiet our mind through specific practices is part of the mind’s thought system itself. It is not an external thought outside of the mind. Therefore, how can the mind quiet itself by using the same thought system that created the incessant thinking in the first place?

Let’s break this down and understand what is happening here. We are being given remedies to quiet the mind. We are being given different systems of meditation: Vipassana, mantra, mindfulness, transcendental, progressive, loving-kindness, Zen, and so on. These are all beautiful practices and can help one improve focus and concentration, but they all teach the mind a skill to stay quiet for some time, and there’s nothing wrong with that approach. However, the mind will not be quiet and free from internal chatter and useless ruminations unless its nature is explored in greater depth by fully living and experiencing life rather than avoiding it. Avoidance is the strategy of the mind to continue thinking in horizontal time as “what-if,” “but what about,” “only if,” and so on. Quieting the mind is not a skill that can be acquired through practices but comes from a deep understanding of life.

This understanding is not personal. It is the witnessing of life’s flow as it happens. The conditioned entity “me” cannot observe this flow because it is biased and full of filtered perception. Therefore, the one that says I want to quiet the mind, is the mind. The mind gives an illusion that the one that wants a solution is external to it. It is a part of the same movement. Therefore, the mind suggests methods, practices, tips, and techniques to quiet itself, which will not happen. Yes, it may learn to shut down temporarily, but it will rise now and then creating pain and discomfort.

We are not concerned about thinking as such but the emotional charge that accompanies thinking. The emotional charge is so strong sometimes that it shuts down the rational mind. It shuts down the capacity to reflect and see what’s happening. When we say that we want to quiet the mind, we essentially want to get rid of the emotional charge associated with the thinking. Without that charge, thinking by itself is never an issue. Yes, we do experience fatigue with random thoughts, but without an emotional charge, the thoughts do not sustain for long. It is all one movement. There is no separation between thoughts and emotions. It is one energy that shapeshifts. Think of a lightbulb connected to a voltage regulator. When we turn the knob on the regulator, we regulate the current which changes the intensity of the glow in the lightbulb. When the glow is dim that’s a thought, which by itself is neutral. But when the glow is high intensity that’s a high emotional charge (overwhelm). They both may appear separate but they are part of the same movement or made out of the same substance. Therefore, blocking thoughts is not going to get rid of the emotional charge that continues the discomfort. This whole movement is one process and blocking out anything will not help. In fact, blocking is resistance to the natural flow. It is the resistance (“I don’t want to feel this”) that causes pain.

The root of our conflict is the division between the thinker and the thinking. We want to block thoughts and feelings, hoping that that will end our suffering, but that never happens. We get more agitated and restless when we try to block the afflicting content of our consciousness. We remain trapped in the eternal chase to end our thinking without examining its source. Where is the thinker? Is there a thinker? This question needs examination before we can come to a conclusion.

Usually, we disregard this question because we don’t want to face the discomfort of our existence. We start with the assumption of the pseudo-subject “me” (the sense of personal identification as a separate entity with a name and a form) that we believe is at the helm of all affairs. When we meditate the “me” subsides temporarily and we experience restfulness; however, it comes back the moment we come out of meditation and go about our daily living. Nisargadatta Maharaj said that meditate on the meditator. The one meditating using an anchor (breath, mantra, etc.) is the subject-object split that causes the conflict. True meditation happens through direct observation of life as it happens. That’s where it is revealed that the “one” trying to find a solution to the mind’s problems is only the mind. That’s when the effort is dropped and peace is seen as one’s anchor that is never lost. It is seen as the infinite ocean that is ever-present. We call it by many names. I call it unconditional love.