“A part of us tries to hide and avoid intimacy because it ‘feels’ uncomfortable. It gives a false sense of safety hiding behind a gadget (or an app), whereas, talking out things face-to-face requires courage and vulnerability”
Jagjot Singh
Talks About The
Compassionate Heart
Presently, I’m experiencing separation from my loved ones due to some unusual life circumstances. This separation has been anxiety inducing but thanks to technology (WhatsApp in particular) I’m able to connect and have important conversations. However, I noticed that for the past couple of months I wasn’t using this App with full mindful presence. There were moments where I was trying to avoid physical contact and work things out by “texting” (or sending voice notes) about the issues.
It’s easier and better to meet personally to sort out daily issues. It fosters confidence in oneself and also work wonderfully for the relationship. It’s intimate, no matter what kind of relationship or even friendship. A part of us tries to hide and avoid intimacy because it “feels” uncomfortable. It gives a false sense of safety hiding behind a gadget (or an app), whereas, talking out things face-to-face requires courage and vulnerability. For the first time, I noticed how these apps and gadgets can be so addictive if we step out of presence while using them. They are good for planning meetups but they are not a substitute for intimate connection with a loved one.
It takes presence to realize how one can go down this rabbit hole of trying to soothe one’s anxiety by hiding behind a screen. This happens by compulsively checking for messages and emails, doom scrolling on social media apps, and more, in the attempt to avoid boredom or the discomfort of actually meeting in-person. It begins to breed Tamas (inertia and laziness) that further gives rise to self-centered behaviors. The more we rely on technology, the more our mind gets convinced that “this is the only thing that is safe.” That safety is an illusion! When used beyond one’s tolerable threshold, it causes dependency, anxiety, and depression.
For the past week, I have been using technology mindfully and have noticed a significant difference in my energy levels and mood. When I stayed present with my anxiety to check the next message or email, without actually logging onto the app, I noticed that as soon as the anxiety subsided, I was filled with creative energy to work. The mind may come up with “concerns” like “What if my love one is unsafe or in trouble? What if they are missing me? What if something is needed?” Do you see the string of “What-Ifs”? That’s the “me” mind trying to get attention to itself. Watching this whole movement for what it is, is freedom. It works wonders for the relationship because it gives the energy to move the body and think creatively.
With love,
Jagjot
