It can be challenging to navigate life around people who are still caught up in the sense of separation as their only reality. These can be relatives, family members, friends, or even a lover or spouse. A gross misconception of this concept is the thought, “I am better or superior because I know or have something they don’t.” That thought itself is born out of separation. It’s not about looking down on anyone.
So, how do we live around such people? The answer is simple, with the understanding that behind appearances is the same Consciousness powering all beings, just like electricity powers all the gadgets in the house, enabling them to function in a way they are destined. It’s living with the remembrance (which is not denial) that everyone is playing their part in this leela (the divine play) operating under divine hypnosis according to the cosmic law. With this realization, it becomes relatively easier to engage with others without getting caught up in their personal stories.
Self-knowledge gives us the courage to say no to unreasonable requests. It provides us with the strength to move away from people and situations that disrupt peace. On the surface, this may appear to be self-absorption, but it is freedom at its core. With the sense of individuality gone, the need to live for the expectations of others also dissolves, along with the need to invest in others for personal fulfilment.
How do we know if the sense of individuality is gone? It’s marked by Presence, peace, and relative consistency in behaviors. Inconsistent people are identified with their separation. And hence, they exhibit higher self-centric behaviors. Therefore, there’s acceptance of “others” as they are, which does not mean we have to get along or be agreeable. Presence is not the absence of separation, but the “knowing” of the undercurrent of Unicity powering separation.
An element of compassion comes into play here as we learn to meet people where they are, without losing awareness of our own being. Even when they are projecting, we don’t absorb or internalize, as nothing can affect Beingness. We play our part in the divine play with full participation, but without getting involved.
What if we are with difficult people? What if they are abusive? Then certainly move apart and focus on those people who are in more alignment with your values. Nowhere does it say that you have to endure abuse or bad treatment from people to get along. The cosmic law does not come with an instruction set for how we should or should not function; therefore, use your mind to make discernments with its present knowledge capacity.
What if we are dependent and cannot escape? Then accept the situation as it is right now, with all its associated suffering, and work towards freedom and building a life of self-sufficiency. Acceptance shuts down the thinking (worrying) mind and accentuates and strengthens the practical working mind. The wise are not those who know everything, but the ones who know how to reach out for help and support in practical matters that they know they can’t resolve by themselves.
Ultimately, we come to the fundamental concept of Self-knowledge because everything depends on that. How to know who I am? To know yourself, BE the SELF – your swarupa (essential nature) that illuminates everything, but remains unaffected and untouched by what it illuminates. In that, the “pure knowing” of liberation arises. If that is known, everything else becomes irrelevant.
