“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
During my school days, I would choose to sit in a corner or a back bench where I would be invisible. I didn’t like to be picked out by teachers for activities. I didn’t believe in them. I would daydream and be lost in my little fantasy world. The only thing that brought joy to me was the physical training class where we would play a sport like football or cricket.
I recall onetime a teacher pointed out to me, “Hey, you! The shy one!” I was horrified. She asked a question related to what was being discussed and I didn’t have a clue. It felt humiliating in the moment but I quietly sat down after she said, “Pay attention now onwards!” As I progressed into adulthood, my personality changed from shy to outgoing. I suppressed the thinker and creative story maker child. Now, it was all about money, lifestyle, future, and being a certain way to please the world.
On the surface things were calm but a storm kept brewing underneath. This current was so potent that it manifested as anger and resentment towards the world. “Why is the world so horrible? Why can’t it leave me alone so that I can be myself?” But I didn’t want to investigate who I really am underneath all this show.
Subsequently, as many of you know, there happened a “crack in the structure of my personality” and I did not know what to be anymore. I received an insight (direct knowledge) from the Universe that I don’t need the world’s permission to be myself. I can be unapologetically myself, right now, in this moment. I don’t need a certification of acceptance from the world (including my family, parents, children, friends, or coworkers). If I’m in complete acceptance with the way Universe had designed this mind-body organism, I don’t need to alter myself for the sake of “others.” For when, I’m in harmony with myself, there are no “others.” The other stems from “me.” I do not stem from them.
Therefore, if I’m shy or sad, so be it! If I’m reclusive or unsocial, so be it! Let the mind-body complex be as it is and simply observe what’s happening. The problem is that we don’t observe; we react to life and in that reaction (the “me”) we miss out that which is of most significance. Any destined change will happen; it cannot be forced to meet an idealized image. Image (what I desire to be like) is uncreative imagination born out of fear. It’s not love. Image is a future-oriented thought that has no relevance with what’s happening Now. In this observation, acceptance happens effortlessly! Forcing yourself to be a certain way only creates a fictitious image of What-I-Should-Be-Like.
Can you accept yourself the way you are in this moment? If you can, you will notice all your problems dissolve, but if you can’t then suffering will ensue. You are to do nothing. Relax and be here now! Enjoy the show while it lasts! Observe and allow the Universe to do whatever it wants! In that impersonal surrender, which isn’t done for any gain or attainment of imagination, you discover who you are.
With love,
Jagjot
