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Your “Individuality” is a Myth
Our sense of separate existence, the sense of individuality, is a piece of fiction. The problem is that we live in an era where the sense of separateness or individuality is reinforced and strengthened by all the messages that are floating around. We are told that we need to improve this “self,” this individual. We need to achieve this and that, and we need to create big goals for greater fulfillment. All our lives we are told that this separate entity is broken and it needs to be fixed through methods, techniques, practices, different ideas, philosophies, and so on.
All that is fine but eventually the existence of the separate self or the belief in one’s individuality is by nature suffering.
Here are a couple of lines from my book, The End of Me & My Story.
Our sense of individuality comes from memory impressions. Therefore, the thought that you are “so-and-so” is an identification in mind. Every aspect of our material existence comes from memory, which creates an image. It creates an identity, and through layered abstractions, we think of ourselves as separate individuals living in a world of names and forms. It is not a question of right or wrong, desirable or undesirable, but “What is.” If somehow, all your thoughts were wiped out, what would remain? The pure being. It is “watchfulness”, “knowingness”, or call it whatever you like. It’s impossible to put it in words.
The End of Me and My Story, Jagjot Singh
I’m told that people are troubled by their thinking mind – the obsessive thinking, and they desire that the mind should stop or at least reduce the thinking so that they live comfortably and peacefully. It is a genuine concern because this incessant thinking relentlessly going on in the mind hampers our creative potential; however, one needs to examine the totality of what one is; of what this image that I call myself “me” is, and also what story is it attaching to underneath all that goes on happening superficially.
What is beyond those thoughts and emotions that trouble us? We are quick to identify emotions because sensations immediately produce a separate subject that is “me” and I say that I am angry, I am upset, I am sad, I am depressed, and I am anxious. My mind is running 24/7 and I cannot live peacefully. My mind is completely in turmoil and I often get swayed into thinking that troubles me and then I try to find a solution to quiet the mind, however, we do not examine our mind completely we always examine the mind from a filtered perspective, that is, we are attached to an outcome of self-improvement or betterment, so we tell ourselves that through introspection, through thinking, I may be able to change my thoughts that are troubling me.
I exchange one set of thoughts for another but thinking by itself is draining for the mind and body. It is a burden on the body because it makes the body tired. But we never question our traditional structures, we never question why we are following one particular line of thinking. For example, I take it for granted that I was born in this lifetime where I have to get a good job, get married, have children, take care of my parents in old age, be socially more active, take care of my health, get a new car, purchase a house, and so on.
We are completely tied up with all of these concepts. All of these thoughts stem from this self-centered perception that is the image “me.” Now, I’m not saying that we should not have these thoughts, what I’m saying is just to examine what is your relationship with these thoughts. Is the prospect of having the perfect relationship, or the perfect property, or the perfect car, or having a perfect job, causing stress and anxiety?
What are your expectations? All of these thoughts are interrelated and they create an emotionally charged entity, which is the image “me.” We try to find a solution externally, we go outwards, and generally, that is done by avoiding what is and venturing into the mind’s fantasy, which is what should or should not be. What should or should not be has nothing to do with what the situation presently is, the way it is right now. Let’s say, you may be stuck in a horrible job or a bad relationship. That being the situation as of now, take whatever action you think is required in that given moment. This message does not tell you what to do, it will not tell you to leave (or stay) the job or leave the relationship, what it tells you to do is act based on what best you know right now, and then leave the outcome.
It may be what you prefer or it may not be that at all. The acceptance of both scenarios, the fulfillment of one’s personal preference or not, brings peace, that is how the mind does self-introspection and creates an order first and not through meditation as an activity to quiet itself. Setting the mind in order means examining your relationship with your own thoughts, with your own concepts, beliefs, and ideas.
This is what I point to my book, The End of Me & My Story. It challenges some of the traditional concepts that we have taken for granted. We believe that the society’s blueprint handed out to us is perfect and has to be followed diligently. We do not challenge it. My point is that just examine that blueprint. Examine how it is playing out in the lives of people who you think are your role models like your parents, relatives, friends, coworkers, and elders.
They may advocate a certain blueprint that consists of getting a specific job, buying a specific property, a fancy car, starting a family, doing this doing that … but are they really peaceful and happy that is the main question. Is their relationship with themselves and with people harmonious? That is the question. We are quick to take the information, and we quickly believe when somebody tells us that this is the way things have to be done, but we do not examine things for ourselves and that is where self-knowledge is paramount. It’s important because self-knowledge points attention inward. It cross-examines its own set of beliefs and ideas.
If all of those beliefs were just wiped out, let’s say for example. You do get a glimpse of this when you wake up in the morning because your mind is relatively quiet at that point and you can feel a sort of bliss, well some of you may not be experiencing that if the mind has been overactive during the night and the evening before you sleep then you will experience turbulence the moment you get up, but for some people there may be moments where you feel restful when the mind is quiet, so coming back to my point, it has to be examined as to what are my associations (thoughts and beliefs) and where are they leading me in a given moment.
If everything is magically wiped out, what remains is pure watchfulness, which is completely detached from what is going on. It simply is the impersonal observation (or impersonal awareness) that is happening. It is not separate. There is no separation of this Consciousness from the content that is being observed. This simple concept frees us from a lot of pain and suffering, although life is suffering and there is no avoiding pain. However, tapping into this awareness, which is not personal but impersonal, one sees all of the things that are making us run around continuously; “do this, do that, achieve this, achieve that.” It just lightens that load. The observation, by itself, brings an end to the self-centered activities, there’s nothing to be done as such.
In fact, at some point, the awareness eliminates that load (emotional charge) completely, and then one acts more spontaneously and feels more alive, so to speak. One feels more responsive towards life rather than being more reactive towards things that are happening around. It is one’s inability to accept things as they are that produces an emotional charge like anger, jealousy, hatred, malice, spite, and so on, but when the impersonal observation happens things are seen without judgment and without any effort of the mind to modify what is happening.
One can only rest in this natural state and “BE.” It can’t be proved because it’s not an object separate from the subject. We can prove the existence of only that which is apart from us. You are it! The mind-body abstract is simply the interplay of apparent contracted energies; in reality, nothing is happening.
The End of Me & My Story, Jagjot Singh
When all concepts about what seems to be happening are gone and things are simply seen for what they are, there is an experience of peace, restfulness, or watchfulness, which is the breakdown of the subject-object split. That means it is the breakdown of the experiencer and the object experienced and all there is is pure experiencing.
Let’s take a very simple example. So many of us experience anger. I also experience anger sometimes. But when anger is there, is there a separate observer of anger? If you take that split-second slice of the angry moment experience what you will see is that “you” are the anger. You are not separate from it. The perceived entity “me” is the emotion, is the charge, is the anger, is the irritation. It’s only later that a parallel thought comes up which is the conceptual thought “me” that says “I should not be angry,” and “I should not be anxious.” Why? Because that is not seen as good in society. Then I will perceive myself as a nuisance to society, therefore, I go on this never-ending quest of curing myself because I think I am sick and broken.
The biggest misconception is that I am separate from what is out there. The individuality is a myth and no matter how much we strengthen it, the fundamental nature of individuality is suffering. To give up one’s sense of individuality is living in harmony in this world with What Is. Otherwise, there is no possibility of any harmony or peace.
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