When we live with the belief in separate existence it is natural for the fear to arise because we have identified with something limited. We identify ourselves with this limited body which is aging and then we feel that we must accumulate more and more. We must fulfill all our desires before it is too late.
The clock is ticking and one day we may not be there so might as well enjoy this life and make the most out of it. While that said, I do say that one should fully enjoy what the moment brings. Enjoy each and every moment of life. The thing is that when you have identified with something limited and when you carry fear in your heart it will never be possible for you to fully enjoy this life.
If you are operating from a place of fear, and from a place of conflict and confusion then all your actions become unconscious. Therefore, limited thinking breeds limited action and you know we come across situations in life where we experience turbulence in relationships.
Life is all about relationships. What happens is that a lot of anger gets repressed. The anger gets stored in the body. When I say body I include the deep recesses of our minds as well not just the conscious surface. It goes beyond and all of that pent-up anger sometimes creates different types of symptoms in the body.
For example, there may be unexplained chronic pain. People see this when they speak to psychotherapists or professionals and when they touch upon uncomfortable aspects of their lives where the hurt came from and then all of a sudden they immediately feel relieved as grief finds an outlet.
That is one of the ways grief becomes our friend. You know, Rumi said that grief can be the garden of compassion. A lot of repressed anger actually comes out as grief. It is a beautiful thing. I’m talking about grief that arises naturally from within. I’m not talking about the incessant mourning where one keeps repeating the same thing. “Why me? Why did this happen to me? Why did that happen to me?” Along with the feeling of being a victim.
I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the pure feeling where, for example, we miss a loved one who’s passed on. It is natural for grief to arise here as there may be some trapped anger. “Why did you leave me? Why did you go away?”
Grief is the natural outlet but the problem is that we fight that tendency. We don’t allow it to come up and that sort of forms an obstruction in the energetic flow of the body. It closes the heart. The more anger and resentment we feel towards the other the more it blocks the heart’s energy. The heart is the place of pure unconditional love.
Rumi says, “If you keep your heart open through everything your pain can become your greatest ally in your lives search for love and wisdom.” So let it flow. Let it come out and see it is a form of release because just verbalizing a sensation sometimes is not enough. Sometimes things have to have some sort of natural outlet.
Speaking in that context, we shouldn’t even resist the anger, but again, it has to be the natural anger not the anger that is born out of fear. It should not be a forced anger. There is a bit of subtleness to that natural anger which is much different from the aggressive forced anger.
Once you recognize your true nature which is pure love, you understand where the other person comes from. You don’t take offense to their comments personally, it may sting in the moment when someone says something nasty.
Their words may sting in the moment but they will never create feelings of deep resentment or hatred towards the person because deep deep down we realize that the Consciousness that powers this mind-body organism or what you call “me” is the same as what powers the others.
The recognition of that common essence, that God principle, within the other, closes the gap or separation between me and the other. People try to create hurt. There are lots of wounded people who will do that either actively or passively. I know it is the passive ones that are most tricky to deal with, but you see, it is not that you have to tolerate their bad behavior.
You can surely block anyone who disrupts your peace. However, there is no point in keeping any hatred or resentment towards anyone. If you know their full story, you will see how they are entangled in their own web of thinking. I believe at some point we were also in the same situation.
You give them the freedom and let them be the way they are. You also operate with that same sense. You operate the way God has created you. Again, it is not about tolerating bad behavior from people or allowing people to walk over you.
It is simply the fact that you stop questioning why people are the way they are. You simply accept that this is the way they are and this is the evolution of their consciousness. It is their Destiny to be this way. With that acceptance, a lot of conflict gets eliminated.
In the light of this new understanding, one revels in the pure feeling of “being” or love that we are. It is understood that this is all about love. All the pain and suffering that we go through in life is all about love but that love has to be seen directly. Love is not the filtered or conditioned love that we experience in living. It is pure love. Pure love does not exclude anything it is all-inclusive
It includes all the suffering, all the pain, all the sorrows, and everything. You tend to become more tender and more compassionate toward others. Even towards those who are difficult. Many times, I can sense all the passive aggression from people. I’m intuitive and sensitive by nature. But all that arises from my side towards them is compassion because all of that trying to demean or pull down others (petty animalistic traits of the unconsciousness) is a defense mechanism – a facade.
The goodness of “being” beyond the facade remains untouched and unhurt. I don’t tolerate bad behavior so I may block people who disrupt my peace. It is not my job to correct them or convince them. That would be inferring in God’s work. I understand and I accept that this is what they are at this moment.
If they have listened to the message of peace and harmony, then it is already a part of their system. Gone within like an affirmation and at some point when it is the will of God they will realize the value of it and then the flowering of Consciousness will happen within them as well.