Sushi: I read one of David Hawkins’ books where he says that the nature of the source is love. Why is there such resistance in man than to surrender to something that brings him enormous peace and joy? Is it just mere habit that keeps him tied to doership or the simple fact that surrender happens only to those destined for it?
Jagjot: Honestly, there’s no definite answer to the above questions as we cannot decode cosmic law. We cannot know on what basis God or source creates an ego, what ensues suffering as a result, what starts the seeking, and finally, what ends it. I never had any spiritual inclination whatsoever. I don’t know what started this spiritual seeking in me and what destroyed my sense of personal identification.
And I’ll admit that it has brought about a tremendous sense of relief and peace. Some aspects of my personality changed while others remained the same. And I had no control over any part of my awakening.
The questioning about life (in my case) was so intense that the contemplations would go on even in sleep. On waking up, I would feel that some discussion took place with some invisible power, but I could never recall the content of the discussions.
My wild guess is that some energetic exchange happened in the unconscious. I feel like I’ve had an overwhelming download of information. Without reading any spiritual material or scripture, I knew the message that was conveyed. Even Advaita teaching, I discovered later only to confirm my findings. I don’t know on what basis this mind-body received this knowledge. I don’t have the slightest clue.
But I know that this message needs to flow. I would not be able to sustain this body if I held onto this information and kept it private. Therefore, being able to channel this information is a need (compulsion) of this body. I have no choice in this matter.
Even after all of our discussion, I feel we have barely scratched the surface. I have so much more to convey. I cannot consciously recall any of this downloaded information, but the answer comes when the appropriate questions arise at the appropriate time. I intuitively get to know what the ancient masters were trying to convey through their teachings.
It happens even today. In a semi-conscious state, some exchange takes place, and when I regain full consciousness, I get the feeling that “something” got resolved. I feel relieved. It’s not “me” who has ever answered your questions. The answers came from somewhere.
Again, all of this is not easy. Sometimes, I receive flak for spreading this knowledge. I have been dubbed an atheist by many. It is sometimes stressful to deal with things in daily living, and I do get annoyed and upset, but the beauty is that nothing sticks. That said, none of this has given me any saint-like qualities. I don’t listen to Bhajans or go for Kirtans. I don’t wear robes or malas. I don’t speak softly all the time. I’m not always calm and friendly with people.
To the illusory self, awakening seems like a special event that changes everything. This thought that creates separation, “You have something I don’t have,” is also an illusion created by the illusory self. Surrender is the deep knowing that I always have what I am looking for. In fact, it’s “I am already what I am looking for.” That’s precisely why life is called a cosmic joke. The peace and joy I longed for was, is, and always will be “I AM.” It’s only the identification with the unreal that causes suffering.
The forces that keep one tied to doership are beyond human comprehension, and so are those that cause the doership to dissolve. As Ramesh often quoted the words in Bible, “Thy will not mine be done.” However, you should not assume that you’re not destined just because you don’t have a complete understanding right now.
If the message has reached your consciousness, the destruction of the individual self has already begun. It is only a matter of deliverance when the understanding seeps deep, and the ego surrenders. Therefore, I never stop people from continuing their spiritual practices, whatever they may be. At some point, the illusory layering will wither away, and THAT which is real will be revealed.