The questions you’ve asked indicate that you’re a seeker of truth. So I will give you a thought to reflect on and see how it fits your view of life.
This whole urge to know the purpose of life and contemplate the nature of existence comes from a “sense of I” or the personal self, which usually results from past mind conditioning. In other words, it is acquired.
Just like our body is an accumulation of the food we eat, our mind is also an accumulation of all sense impressions and perceptions we accumulate in our lifetime.
We’re taught to think like an individual that has a separate existence and that we have to struggle in this bad-mad world to survive. We’re given teachings on morality, ethics, religion, and whatever ideas and beliefs we form are limited to the society and culture we’re born in.
The problem is that this creates cognitive dissonance because there’s a great conflict, and we cannot apply these teachings in practical life.
I’m not saying that these teachings are wrong, but they do not liberate us from the finite self we believe ourselves to be.
We’re already the love or the infinite consciousness we seek, but the reason why we cannot “see” is because of the conditioned mind that creates strong attachments to thoughts, beliefs, and ideas.
We’re holding on to a lot of stuff. Some of it is conscious, while the rest is unconscious. Every belief that you hold in your mind becomes a part of the perceived personal self. The more we identify with this perception of self, the more insecure we become.
To an extent, we become paranoid trying to protect this self. Everything that we believe poses a threat to this self; we try to eliminate it consciously or unconsciously. Our predisposition towards negativity bias is a clear indication of this.
Therefore, cultivating a still mind is the key to infinite awareness, consciousness, god, source, or whatever you want to call it. The word “buddha” means the awakened one. We’re all buddhas. The only thing is that we have to realize our true nature.
When the awakening happens is not in our control, but the whole question of “purpose of life” and restlessness associated with it disappears whenever it happens.
You imagine yourself to be far away from this source or infinite consciousness. Your imagination creates distance because the mind acts like a veil.
This imagination is a creation of your mind because how can you be far away from the absolute reality that “you are.” Therefore, the idea of liberation or awakening is not to seek answers to questions but to destroy the questions themselves.
And your intellect forms the biggest roadblock to this process. The mind, by nature, is like a sharp knife. It creates divisions by cutting. While that is extremely useful in the material world, it is useless with subtle aspects of existence. So for every answer, ten more questions will arise.
People endlessly debate theories, ideologies, believes, and the concepts of rights and wrongs but never come to a conclusion. So who’s the one asking, “How can we become infinite?” and more importantly, why is there such an incessant urge to become something?
The mind is not a seeker; it is by nature a wanderer. It is only interested in debates, contradictions, chaos, and conflicts. If there were no conflict, you probably would never know that the mind exists.
This is the reason why we’re trapped in samsara (the world of name and form). So the emphasis should be on seeking the source of the questions than getting the answers. Therefore, knowledge alone will not liberate you.
Why you cannot expand your consciousness to the infinite is because you have made “the infinite” into an object of your desire. In other words, your mind has tricked you by conceptualizing the infinite into a finite object of perception.
You have attached the “me” to this finite object, which means that it’s the ego talking, and it has convinced you that there is something to attain for abiding happiness. Do you see the trap? And now you desire it, just like you desire different other things in life.
To realize yourself as the infinite consciousness that you already are, you have to drop your intellectual understanding and allow the mind to settle down. You have to learn to be in the present moment by becoming the witness consciousness.
Don’t try to think your way into the present moment. Thinking is a horizontal process that indicates involvement and effort, and therefore, there’s no room for thinking in the present moment.
What is required is an investigation or “self-inquiry” through deep inner exploration. Asking the question, “Can our consciousness become infinite?” is like a wave in the ocean asking, “Can I ever become the sea?”
The wave is never, has never been, and will never be anything apart from the sea. Similarly, you are nothing apart from the source, the infinity, the all-pervading consciousness, the absolute, or the god.